Okay so its been a while since I've updated, but here are a few thoughts of mine:

I've been doing a Ton of soul searching this past few weeks. I've come to find a peaceful place about 15 min away from cedar. Its up on the mountain with an incredible view. there is also a hiking trail right off from where i park so I'm able to go down a bit then hide in the bushes to be alone.
The other day I escaped up there and took my scriptures and journal. I was just going through some spots where I've marked and I found a scripture that my brother-in-law shared with me about two weeks ago. its found in Gal 5:22-23; 22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,23 Meekness, temperance...

This Scripture is helping me recognize the ways of the spirit. So thank you Brent for helping me open my eyes. I think what has helped me the most recognize the "Fruit of the spirit" is love and peace. Throughout my trial i've been going through not once have i hated a certain individual. I feel more sorrow than anything and honestly i dont think i will ever stop loving this person. As soon as everything started to happen, I kept hearing the pure love of christ in my head over and over. yes it may have been a mental break down but i think it was the lords way to remind me that this person is still a child of god and that god still loves him and i need to as well. It doesnt mean I love him as a Married person should but love him as a dear friend and brother.

Then I've received peace. Peace to know that I've done all I could in the matter. Certain things have come and gone through this trial to help me realize i've tried my hardest. So in the future i wont look back and say, "What if" I know the lord has had his hand in many things over the past few months and i appreciate him in every way.

The image below I took last time I was home. This image creates a stirring inside my heart. It makes me think of how amazing that the whole building seems devastated. the walls have fallen and there is no roof. But its amazing because the foundation is still there. I see myself in this image. I have gone through a storm. My house has been torn down and wrecked. But what's on the bottom? my foundation. With the help of family and friends i have rediscovered this foundation. I've built upon the lord my whole life. I got distracted a while ago with replacing the roof maybe painting a few walls and forgotten, but it was still there. After this trial, I'm so happy to have the lord to rebuild on, to stand strong upon. I'm so grateful to have the examples in my life who help me in everything i do. I know the lord is still there for me and I'm excited to step forward knowing he will always be there.